When a relationship is going really well, you can’t wait to take the next step: moving in together!
For many, it’s a real adventure and a big step in the relationship. But this can sometimes backfire quite badly. And to make sure that doesn’t happen, you should think twice about these 10 things before moving in together!
Time is pretty relative. Some couples are ready to move into a shared apartment after a few weeks, some are still not ready after years. The important thing is that you both really take the time you need and don’t push each other. A good time to move into a shared apartment is especially when you are always squatting in one apartment anyway and one of you only goes to your own apartment to pick up the mail. At this point, you might already be thinking about moving in together!
The most important thing in your own apartment is, of course, the household. The question you should definitely discuss together: How do you want to run the household? It would be too annoying if you move in together and one of you does nothing, while the other one has to do everything alone. It is important that you have the same or at least a similar understanding of how to run your household together!
Another very important point is the matter of finances. Do both of your incomes go into one pot? Do you split everything? Do you buy everything together or do you do strictly half and half? All questions that you should clarify beforehand if you want to avoid unnecessary inconveniences and quarrels!
Who is allowed to visit? How long are visitors allowed to stay? How much notice should be given before the visit? Is it allowed to protest? This is quite important that you clarify these questions as well. Although this may not seem so important at first in the rush of happiness because of moving in together, it can be annoying if one part has several visitors every day and the other part just wants to have his peace and quiet.
#5 Room layout
Sure, you definitely want to have a shared room when you move into a shared apartment. But you should still consider whether it would not be practical if you still have separate rooms in which you can also withdraw sometimes.
What is also really important is to clarify in advance who will sign the lease. With some landlords, there is also the possibility of both of you getting into the lease, so that one doesn’t have to bear the responsibility alone.
#7 Interior design
This may sound unimportant, but it is quite important to clarify in advance what kind of style your partner has. Maybe one part is into a nice wood style, but the other part wants it to be more dark and gloomy. It’s important to talk about it and maybe even develop a common style so that both of you can feel comfortable.
#8 Flaws and quirks
Everyone has their quirks and idiosyncrasies – the important question is whether you can live with them. Maybe he snores or always leaves the toilet seat up and you totally hate that. Such little things can build up after some time and lead to recurring arguments. That’s why such quirks should be clarified beforehand, so that you can find compromises together.
#9 Free time
It’s only understandable that you don’t want to do something together 24/7. Sometimes you just want to sit on the couch, watch a movie, gamble on the Playstation or read something. However, so that you don’t feel neglected by your partner or pushed in the other direction, it’s important to agree beforehand how much time you want to spend together. For example, you can say that you will only do something together one day a week. Such or similar concrete plans reduce the risk of getting bored.
But the most important question of all is: why do I want to move in with my partner? Sometimes the reasons for moving in together can be bad reasons, such as jealousy or isolation of your partner. That’s why it’s very important that you both do some soul-searching and ask yourselves if and why exactly you want to take this next step together and if it will do you and your relationship any good!